My failing bodily functions

I'm writing this to complain about a recent occurrence in my life.

I woke up on Friday the 6th of May to a stabbing pain in my stomach. It was 5 a.m. but i figured that i could still tell my loving, caring mother of my condition in the hopes that she would accomodate for my pain ridden status.

in the words of Charlie Murphy - "Wrong, Wrong"

as it turns out i had a dentist appointment that morning and my mom took "Jesus Christ, it feels like someone is sticking an icepick in my stomach" to mean " i dont want to go to the dentist so i'm going to make up an excuse to bitch incessently until i get my way."

Unfortunately for me this meant that in my weakened state i was forced to go to the Dentist, but because my mother thought i had a bug and that my dentist would freak out, i couldnt tell my dentist that i was sick and instead said "i have acid indigestion from the enchiladas." So i let my dentist poke around my mouth regardless of the pain i felt when the new spray toy my dentist was trying out poked me in the gums...great times. I left with no cavities, and bleeding gums.

at 12:45 pm my mother finally delivered my sickly ass to the doctor and i waited...and waited, and waited...and waited through my mother asking questions like "how often do you drink?" and "do you use recreational drugs?" that was by far the most uncomfortable time i've ever spent with her only because of her prompting me to answer truthfully by saying "dont worry, i wont get you in trouble".

either way, my doctor poked at my stomach, sent me for blood and uren tests, and then decided that i had appendicitus but still needed a CAT SCAN to verify, so i went through the iodine and the radiation to find out that i did have appendicitus. Although the poking, peeing, and bleeding didnt tell them enough, they had to send me through the radiationl, Kinda funny, i went into surgery pretty quickly afterward, they pulled my surgeon from the local bar (seriously, the goofy bastard was drunk.) they put me under anesthesia and sent me to my room, fun times.

im in my state of recovery still, the staples come out monday, yay go me. im still gonna miss the dimmeroll, theyd just inject my painkillers and it freakin ruled.

The catheter hurts. i couldnt pee after the surgery and my gentle loving nurse "offered" to put the catheter back in if my companion didnt stop his new case of stagefright...needless to say, one hour later, he came to the show....i rooted him on.

I watched alot of ESPN in the proceeding days after the surgery...and I also would change over to Judging Amy, god thats so lame that i do that. either way, i was watching Cold Pizza on ESPN when i woke up and i came to realize that i hate skip bayless, 1.) the dudes a total knob, 2.) i cant stand anyone who literally gripes through every response followed sitting there with a smug unhappy little face as mah boy Woody Paige sets him straight...total knob, i emailed him, he hasnt answered, i wonder why.

institutionalization is wrong...more later...