an almost heartfelt apology

this is coming out a day early because im going to anadarko for a family reunion...its gonna be great...


apology #1 my "driver" - for that advice (which was good) but just didnt play out the way we wanted it to. maybe i can fix it, probably not, sorry bro, but atleast we know for sure the answer and wont wonder for the next few years until she gets married or something like that. we can rack this one up under "mah bad"

irritative mental conditions

Hello Chitlin,

welcome back to another exciting episode of i get to say whatever i want to say because its free on the internet.

When I last left i was complaining about my bodies condition post-surgery. Today it feels ten times better but for some reason my doctor still wont clear me to lift anything over ten pounds.

just a few quick things before i get to the highlight of my week, House M.D. is on tuesdays at eight on Fox and i think it friggin rocks. If anyone didn't catch the game thursday the prediction i made before game 1 that the pistons would close the series in six became true, go pistons. sorry reggie. I saw star wars ep. 3 on thursday as well, it was pretty sweet, luckily i didnt sit by anyone dressed as darth vader or something stupid, that was a great deal between my buhler and the jobey.

the only thing im going to complain about is work. On Wednesday i went back to work in edmond at kohls to train for opening the store, let me just say that that isnt what is bad. Whats bad is that the training was for opening the store at six in the damn morning. this isnt the first time this has happened, and it wont be the last but these rat bastards constantly think its legit to wake me up that early and its ridiculous.

The highlight of my week was last night at the performing arts center for George Carlin. My driver and i arrived about thirty minutes before doors opened only to be approached by "lobbyists" pressing medical marijuana passage. They say they are having great success and i wish them the best but im sorry, this is Oklahoma, a red state, and i highly doubt there will ever be a time when medical marijuana will become legal. sorry cats we cant all fake glaucoma just yet.

Either way, my driver and i got to the show and the opening act was alright, I wont ever like any act totally that uses a guitar in comedy, but to each their own. The man came on after the intermission and he freaking ruled. Between his reminders of great underappreciated things like pussyfarts and dingleberries to the suicide channel (especially any time he talked about auto-erotic-asphyxia) and his love for natural disasters i just couldnt stop laughing. The better parts of the show was the part about the weirdness of human nature and how our world would look without electricity. Of course i was pleased when he started talking about the people who vote vs. those who should vote. Democracy rules, what can i say.

one piece of advice to all who read (this is directed to a few people so dont yell if you think im singling you out, i probably wont care anyways)--- if you have a chance to do something that you know you want to do (or even semi-know you want to do) and dont do it because you are scared of some far off impact, or youre scared of getting too close, or getting shut down, or getting hurt or whatever asanine reason you want to define to yourself, then you are being paranoid, neurotic, and overly protective of yourself. You have on average something like 73.6 years of life, dont waste it on fear, just do the damn thing and welcome any and all consequences of your actions. however, if you do decide to embrace fear and inaction, one day you will realize your insane decision and may also realize it is horribly too late to try and act now. In which case do not do one of the following: drown in your bullshit sorrows, wonder what could have been, continue the same line of thought that led you to choose inaction and fear, and please dear god do not call and bitch to my apathetic ass about it.

-im out, Pistons in six, knock on wood.

-Andy Casey

My failing bodily functions

I'm writing this to complain about a recent occurrence in my life.

I woke up on Friday the 6th of May to a stabbing pain in my stomach. It was 5 a.m. but i figured that i could still tell my loving, caring mother of my condition in the hopes that she would accomodate for my pain ridden status.

in the words of Charlie Murphy - "Wrong, Wrong"

as it turns out i had a dentist appointment that morning and my mom took "Jesus Christ, it feels like someone is sticking an icepick in my stomach" to mean " i dont want to go to the dentist so i'm going to make up an excuse to bitch incessently until i get my way."

Unfortunately for me this meant that in my weakened state i was forced to go to the Dentist, but because my mother thought i had a bug and that my dentist would freak out, i couldnt tell my dentist that i was sick and instead said "i have acid indigestion from the enchiladas." So i let my dentist poke around my mouth regardless of the pain i felt when the new spray toy my dentist was trying out poked me in the gums...great times. I left with no cavities, and bleeding gums.

at 12:45 pm my mother finally delivered my sickly ass to the doctor and i waited...and waited, and waited...and waited through my mother asking questions like "how often do you drink?" and "do you use recreational drugs?" that was by far the most uncomfortable time i've ever spent with her only because of her prompting me to answer truthfully by saying "dont worry, i wont get you in trouble".

either way, my doctor poked at my stomach, sent me for blood and uren tests, and then decided that i had appendicitus but still needed a CAT SCAN to verify, so i went through the iodine and the radiation to find out that i did have appendicitus. Although the poking, peeing, and bleeding didnt tell them enough, they had to send me through the radiationl, Kinda funny, i went into surgery pretty quickly afterward, they pulled my surgeon from the local bar (seriously, the goofy bastard was drunk.) they put me under anesthesia and sent me to my room, fun times.

im in my state of recovery still, the staples come out monday, yay go me. im still gonna miss the dimmeroll, theyd just inject my painkillers and it freakin ruled.

The catheter hurts. i couldnt pee after the surgery and my gentle loving nurse "offered" to put the catheter back in if my companion didnt stop his new case of stagefright...needless to say, one hour later, he came to the show....i rooted him on.

I watched alot of ESPN in the proceeding days after the surgery...and I also would change over to Judging Amy, god thats so lame that i do that. either way, i was watching Cold Pizza on ESPN when i woke up and i came to realize that i hate skip bayless, 1.) the dudes a total knob, 2.) i cant stand anyone who literally gripes through every response followed sitting there with a smug unhappy little face as mah boy Woody Paige sets him straight...total knob, i emailed him, he hasnt answered, i wonder why.

institutionalization is wrong...more later...